“THE POWER OF AND“

It hit me many years ago that one of the most negative and limiting words in the English language is “but.” Ever since, I’ve been on a mission to draw attention to how shifting those “but’s” to “and’s” has a huge impact – not only on that sentence, it can completely shift how we feel about whatever notions, beliefs, thoughts, concepts we’re talking about. Replacing one three-letter word with another. The Power of And is truly transformative. “And” allows us, particularly as a replacement for “but,” to hold conflicting feelings/thoughts/beliefs simultaneously. Just feel the difference between “I loved him, but now I can’t bear him” and “I loved him, and now I can’t bear him.” But’s a negater, an eliminator, once it appears, whatever came before it gets pushed off the table. As if it no longer is true. Both are true. At the same time. Even if this challenges what may sound “normal.” The Power of And often works with “or” as well. We seem to be somewhat naturally programmed through language to foment separation, limit choices (A OR B), the underlying push to have to choose, instead of seeing how, maybe, we can have both. To increase possibilities. To expand instead of contract.

It’s not always easy to do this. And, I love it when friends tell me that once they started paying more attention to this language shift, it pokes a hole in how they talk about, and hold paradoxical, dichotomous challenges. It just has to do with cracking open our own automatics, and believing that words truly do matter.